Transform Your Habits, Elevate Your Thoughts & Reclaim Your Worth
*Image by the lovely Mikayla Christiansen
Worth wasn’t something I’d ever considered until I found myself stuffing as many bagels as I could into my mouth at 5:30am on a vacation.
My entire family was sleeping while I ran (literally, ran) into town, stopped at every coffee shop along the way, and ate as much as I could without people noticing. I wanted to feel full. I craved a sense of completeness and calm I had only found after stuffing myself.
The first time I thought about worth I was a size 00 and deep in an eating disorder. I always thought I'd feel so much better about myself when I was thinner and prettier. Then things in my life would be easier, and I could finally accept myself. But my hour-long stint of running around town stuffing as many bagels down as I could proved otherwise. I was even more miserable than before.
Feeling good enough is a funny topic. We always think we'll feel better about ourselves when something happens. Like it’s an if/when relationship we'll just walk into and everything will feel right.
When I finally lose those 10 pounds, I'll feel amazing.
I'll feel good enough when I get that promotion.
When I get married, then I'll feel enough.
After I finish college and get out into the real world, things will feel right.
But that time comes, and we feel the same. So, we begin the search for something else that will just have to make us feel good enough. Because this time it'll be different, right?
Embodying your worth and living from a place of worthiness is tough.
Especially in a culture that feeds off insecurities and looms constantly in the background, encouraging us to change. But worthiness is connected to literally everything else in our lives. Without it, things don't feel right.
We wonder if we're on the right path.
We question who we are and what our purpose is.
We jump on the next diet or fitness trend.
We start to believe something isn’t quite right and it must be because there’s something wrong with us.
But here’s the truth: we need to recognize that how we feel about ourselves affects literally everything else in our lives. If we believe there's something wrong with us, that can become a deep-rooted belief about who we are. And that belief ultimately holds us back, keeping us small.
So, the question becomes, where do we go from here? What habits, thoughts, and actions can we pursue to reclaim our worth and change those deep-rooted beliefs about who we are?
1| Recognize that these habits/thoughts/actions exist and NAME them
If we don't know these deep-rooted beliefs are there at all, they can majorly affect different parts of our lives without us knowing about it. Without awareness, we are unable to truly understand what's happening and move forward. But by recognizing they exist and naming them, we start to tease out what's really going on.
Here’s a story for you. In the past, I struggled making friends and forming deep connections. I thought I wasn't good enough to have the friendships I wanted because of how painful some of my closest friendships ended. I unconsciously sabotaged any new connections, thinking I was saving myself from pain down the road by causing myself pain now.
After years of being frustrated at why I always wanted to pull away from people and not let them close, I uncovered that this was happening because of a deep-rooted belief I was holding about myself. I didn't think I was good enough. After I recognized that, I could name it and see how it was affecting various parts of my life, even years later. My lack of friendships and discomfort with being vulnerable suddenly made sense on a deeper level. I didn't think I deserved it. With that level of awareness, we can see what’s truly going on and make changes based on what we know is true.
2| Get curious
Along with awareness, we must get curious about the situation and tell ourselves the truth. Why is this happening? What is it telling me or teaching me?
The key here is being honest and allowing yourself to truly be okay with what you find. If I hadn’t allowed myself to discover (somewhat painfully) why I was sabotaging my friendships, I wouldn’t have had the awareness to move forward from it. Getting curious requires honesty and trust in yourself that everything will be okay.
Some other questions to consider include:
What can I do about this belief/action/thought/habit?
How is it currently serving me?
How can I fulfill that need elsewhere?
3| Create new habits, positive actions, and new thoughts
As broad as it sounds, this is how we truly move forward. Through consistent, daily practice and remembering our worth. By creating habits, actions, and thoughts that support us instead of tear us down. As wonder woman said (and who doesn’t love wonder woman?!), “it’s not a matter of deserve; it’s a matter of what you believe.” Believe you are already good enough and start living it out (because it’s true, by the way).
Here are some ideas to start with:
Journal daily and take time to reflect
Meditate and learn new mindfulness techniques to help cope with stress
Take your self-care to a new level and try something completely new
Do the thing you’re scared of doing – or better yet, do the thing you’re waiting to do until you feel good enough (aka, taking that trip, saying hi to the cutie at the gym, or getting that gorgeous dress in your current size)
The list doesn’t stop there. But first, a little truth talk. Changing deep-rooted beliefs about who we are requires a leap of faith. A trust in ourselves that says, "I am worthy." A truthful, powerful declaration that who we are is enough. The rest is the easy part. Believing it, really believing it, is the hardest part.
I believe in you. And I’ll be right there too, choosing to live a life of worthiness. Are you with me?
Bailey Opsal is a dedicated life and empowerment coach guiding women to embrace who they truly are, awaken to their truth + live from a place of worthiness. Bailey loves to work with highly sensitive women who struggle with perfectionism, shame, and body dissatisfaction. She helps women seeking self-acceptance build a happier, more fulfilling life by guiding them to unconditional self-love, creating boundaries + letting go of perfect to embrace ‘what is’. Through her 1-on-1 coaching, online presence, free resources + courses, she supports women in awakening to their truth + reclaiming their power. Her free course, 7-days to Body Acceptance, has been completed by women all over the world to reclaim the power of their bodies. You can find her blog + additional free resources at www.baileyopsal.com.