What Confidence REALLY is & How We Can Embody it

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What does real, raw, wholehearted confidence look like?

So often, we give into the belief that confidence is found in the absence of imperfection. We think that when we earn a certain amount of money in our business, then we’ll be confidence. Or when we have our lives together, then we can be confident. Or when we no longer struggle with perfectionism, insecurity, or deep self-doubt, then we can embody confidence at the core. 

But let me share a truth with you: just like bravery is not found in the absence of fear, nor is confidence found in the absence of imperfection. True confidence doesn’t look like perfection, being free of struggles, wearing a flashy outfit, or standing up tall and bold in front of a crowd. True confidence is found when we are brave enough to come face to face with the entirety of our being. It’s found when we can stand amidst our imperfection and be UNSHAKEN. 

It’s easy to be confident in the areas that you feel bold in. 

It’s easy to be confident about the parts of yourself that you really like, enjoy, or admire. And although that is amazing, it isn’t the deepest, most profound level of confidence. To embody true, wholehearted confidence at our core, we must be willing to sit with the more complex, messy parts of ourselves. We have to be willing to sit with them, acknowledge them, and extend radical, deep grace and love to all of it. 

This is the true meaning of confidence. But beyond accepting our imperfections, I think something really powerful happens when we can identify various attributes of a confident woman - things that we wish to embody. Because this will carve out a path for us to clearly see. It will provide us with a roadmap where we can see certain practices that we wish to cultivate as we move forward in our confidence journey. That’s why I’m going to paint a picture of a confident woman below by sharing five main attributes we can further embody as we greet our days. 

Five Attributes of a Truly Confident Woman:

1| They don’t apologize for who they are. 

Have you ever met a woman who was simply unapologetically herself? Maybe she laughed really loud, let her bold personality shine, talked openly about her struggles, complimented strangers, or wore whatever the heck she wanted. There is something so extremely refreshing about an unapologetic woman. She knows who she is at the core, and she knows that she is ENOUGH. Just as she is. No questions asked. I want to challenge you to stop apologizing.

For being in process.

For not having it all figured out.

For forgetting the due date.

For eating the chocolate.

For asking a question.

For taking imperfect action.

For your HUMANITY.

Be utterly, extravagantly, wholly YOU. Cause who you are RIGHT NOW is always and forever enough. 

2| They take radical responsibility for their life. 

A confident woman knows that she is responsible for leading the life she deeply desires. She is responsible for the dream in her heart and the success she aspires to reach. This truth doesn’t scare her. It EMPOWERS her. She knows that she is in control. She is in the driver seat of her life. And anything inside of her heart is there for a divine reason. It is meant to become reality. Today, I want to encourage you to give this life ALL you’ve got - because all that you deeply desire for your life is ultimately YOUR responsibility. It is up to you to make it happen. All you need to do is show up and take imperfect action. 

It’s enough. 

3| They constantly think, “Why not me?”

A deeply confident woman is an action taker. Because ultimately, she deeply believes in her abilities. She knows that she is worthy of every single desire inside of her heart and readily and willingly takes action towards making those desires reality. Instead of seeing an opportunity and thinking “Oh, that’s meant for someone else with way more expertise or experience,” I want you to start thinking “WHY NOT ME?” Begin operating with the mentality that YOU are worthy and deserving of good things. Allow this mentality to affect how you show up in your business, sell products, pitch to brands, cultivate a life giving home, or prioritize self care. Look at opportunities and think, “Why not me?” ‘

You are qualified. You are capable. You are destined for greatness. 

4| They aren’t afraid of being wrong. 

In addition to being an action taker, a confident woman is willing and ready to take IMPERFECT action. This is truly the only kind of action there is when we are trying new things, taking risks, and putting ourselves out there. Today, I want to encourage you to begin seeing failure as an experience rather than something you become. Failure is truly not the end of the road - it is a part of the process that is enabling us to carry the weight of our dreams. Begin seeing failure and find the lesson. See the obstacle and immediately see another way. Being wrong or failing in the process does NOT define you as a woman. It strengthens you and increases your resilience. Be the woman who embraces setbacks and challenges with open arms.

Learn, grow, and become a better woman in the midst of it.

5| They embrace their story and share it openly.

A confident woman is willing to sit with herself in her entirety - her struggles, her pain, doubts, and insecurities. She’s willing to let these things be a part of her story without defining her identity. She embraces her story in its fullness and shares it openly because she knows that another woman is in the same place and needs to know that she isn’t alone. Today, I want to empower you to embrace every part of your story - the highs, lows, intricacies, and complexities. All of it counts. All of it is a part of you. 

Today, may you know that you have the ability to choose confidence.

May you stand firm in your truth, be boldly unapologetic, and choose to radically embrace your story. For you are a powerhouse, a light in the dark, and a voice rooted in purpose. 


Author Bio:

Ashton is the founder of The Authentic Woman, a platform that leads women to cultivate radical confidence and pursue their wildest dreams by awakening to their self-worth and breaking down their big dreams into daily action items. She loves working closely with women who are ready to grasp their inherent worth, tap into their power, and use their unique gifts and talents to make a big impact in the world. You will find her regularly embracing impromptu dance parties, sipping on lattes at local coffee shops, striving to be the best plant mom, and working alongside her super goofy and talented husband.

You can connect with Ashton on her Instagram & sign up for The Awakening Membership on her site.