Acknowledging & Releasing Negative Relationships from Your Life

 
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*Photo by Mikayla Christiansen

I have always had goals and aspirations. 

I would always consider myself a happy, positive person. Except…when I was in a negative atmosphere. Girl, I am here to tell you that I have lived it and survived it. Every relationship is different, romantic or platonic, here’s how the story goes… We meet someone new, have common interests, and nine times out of ten, this flourishes into a relationship of some sort. When we realize that this person is not who we expected, or the relationship takes a turn for the worse, we have to know our worth

We have to be willing to set life-giving boundaries to protect our emotional wellbeing and ultimately serve our deepest needs. While it isn’t an easy process, releasing negative relationships from your life will enable you to live a happier, fuller, more vibrant life. So, in this blog post, I’m taking you through the entire process of building relationship with someone who brings negative energy to your life, how to acknowledge it, and then how to release them


1| The job interview

Every relationship is like a job interview. Two individuals come together to see if there is a fit, and both have certain expectations of the other. This can be as basic as expecting them to be polite or as specific as expecting them to love dogs. We try to find common ground, common interests, dislikes, passions, or hobbies. Polite? Check. Loves dogs? Check. Also wants to start a business? Check. Now, we are in the first level of a relationship. This is where it all begins, but it may be at least a few weeks before we see any signs of negative energy.


2| Real life hits.

Real life hits at some point… every time. We are messy. We leave dishes in the sink. We start noticing negative comments they are making or the way they talk about other people. Hold up. We didn’t notice this during the interview portion. However, we figure we have made it this far into the relationship. This is something we are willing to live with, or even help them change. 


3| Negative energy can manifest in many forms.

Flashback. I was in a romantic relationship with someone who was negative all the time. This person woke up and 95% of their day was spent complaining about others, complaining about situations, or complaining about themselves. A large majority of our time was spent arguing and fighting. All of their negative energy was seeping into my life. Not all of their energy was delivered in big red flag form. Negative people have ways of sliding in negativity even when you are not expecting it. Ever notice if you are out with someone and they are continuously complaining about every small thing, even though you are having the time of your life? Those little negative comments creep into your brain, and all of the sudden you are not having as much fun as you thought. Negativity can change the bigger characteristics in your daily activity. You start seeing everything through their lenses. Being mentally exhausted from this person, you begin to snap at your other friends, co-workers, and family. And all the tiny tasks become the biggest hurdle.


4| Embarrassment - negativity’s anxiety driven cousin. 

Half way into this relationship, I could not take this feeling anymore. I could not take the negative atmosphere. After the 100th fight of the week in this relationship, I looked at the other person and said, “Why are we living this way?!” Their response was silence, with a deer in headlights look on their face. The conversation that followed became the turning point and the “lightbulb” moment. I could not continue to live this life of negativity. 

This relationship was not supporting the life I wanted to live or who I wanted to be. It consumed every other relationship outside of its own. We have a hard time asking for help when we need it the most. Embarrassment can make you feel like you are admitting to doing something wrong. When in realty, embarrassment is an emotion we use to get us from one jumping point to the next. We have to swallow our pride and let others in. Reaching out to those that know us best can help us reach a decision we know will be the most beneficial.


5| | “I love you, but I love myself more.”

I loved this person and allowed this behavior because of that. In relationships, regardless of whether they’re romantic or a friendship, this can be the hardest part. We have invested an amount of time into this relationship. When we realize that it is negatively affecting our lives, we have to throw it out. Think about one rotting apple in a fresh barrel. If you do not remove the apple, it will infect every other one. Making the decision to end a relationship is one of the most difficult things in this life. But releasing those negative relationships from our lives, will create more space for the growth we want to experience.


6| The Phoenix 

After you let go of these relationships, you feel a sigh of relief. Without this person in your life, your old self comes back out of that fire. I started making my schedule again, working out, and accomplishing {and making new} goals. I began to work on my desire to reach and empower other women through my podcast. While I still thought of that person often, and still hoped the best for them, saving myself from that negative energy was the best thing I could do. When we release negative relationships, it allows room for our goals and inspirations to be fulfilled. 


7| New relationships

The best thing about past relationships is that they provide the tools we need to move into the next stages of our life. Think about your circles of relationships. How many of those are positively influencing your life? Negatively? Where is the majority of your time spent? Weighing out these factors will help you visualize where some of your deterrents may be hiding. Having a strong support system of positivity will only strengthen us as we move towards our goals and aspirations. You are worthy of more than you can ever imagine, and you deserve only the best squad there supporting you. Release those who are not positively influencing your life, sit back, and watch yourself continue to grow, blossom, and expand. 

 
 
 
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Author Bio:

Amanda Boggs is a self-proclaimed, self-love junkie. She loves encouraging and inspiring others through her podcast, Lavender Sessions with Amanda. Her listeners enjoy hearing her life stories about motivation, overcoming obstacles, and others who have helped her along her journey. Amanda uses her social media platforms to connect and inspire others to be extraordinarily themselves. When she isn’t creating new content, you can find her with her headphones in, drinking coffee, and singing loudly to all Fleetwood Mac lyrics.

Connect with Amanda on her Instagram or on Apple Podcasts for laughs, self-love, and fun!