5 Ways You May Be Holding Yourself Back from Your Dream Reality
Here’s the hard truth: WE create our reality.
About a year and a half ago, I was sitting at my desk in a small office building. I was scrolling through a fashion blog, awing at the “perfect” pictures, envying her never-ending travel explorations, and wishing that my life could be like that. I quickly caught myself in the act of comparison and brought myself back to reality. Then, I heard these words echo in my mind: “Ashton, YOU have the opportunity to create your reality. You can create your dream life or you can create a life you’re not happy with. The truth is that at the end of the day, it is ultimately up to YOU.”
Queue the tears, passion, and drive. After that “AH-HAH” moment, I had to face the hard truth that my life is in my own hands. The beautiful thing is that I actually have the opportunity to create my dream reality. I can take action, work hard, and manifest every single one of the big dreams burning inside of my passionate heart. The key here: I had to start taking action. Every single human being that ever achieved anything took action and put in the work. It wasn’t “luck” or “happenstance.” It was pure passion and hard work.
Here’s the thing: We can’t always control our circumstances, but we can take action towards change & progress.
I’m not saying that it will be easy, you won’t fail, or nothing will get in your way. You will face pressure, failure, hard times, and not so great circumstances. BUT you will always have the power to move forward, create positive change, and work your butt off to see your dreams become your reality. YOU have that power.
So, what happened to that girl who used to scroll endlessly through other people’s blogs, social media highlight reels, and wish her life could be “perfect” like that other girl? She decided to stop watching other people chase their dreams and start creating epic dreams of her own. She started taking massive action, putting in hard work, learning from her failures, and being hecka consistent in the journey of pursuing those wild ideas and big dreams in her heart. Her journey wasn’t perfect, in fact, she’s still on the journey. But she’s moving forward.
After unleashing the magic from inside of me and having some crazy shifts of mindset, I realized quite a few things I was doing to hold myself back, and I want to share those with you.
5 Ways You May Be Holding Yourself Back from Your Dream Reality:
1| You constantly give into self-doubt - doubting your abilities, direction, and ultimately your identity.
One of the biggest ways we can hold ourselves back is by doubting not only our abilities but who we are as a person. Often, we will even disqualify ourselves before we ever try something solely from the place of doubt. There has to be an extreme shift of perspective here: one from doubt to radical confidence and commitment. Will you be perfect? No. Will you always get it right? No. That doesn’t matter. What matters is that you create momentum and learn from your failures.
Journaling Prompt: What do you currently doubt about yourself? How are you going to let go of that and move forward towards confidence?
2| You let fear run the show.
Are you dreams going to feel scary? Yes. Are they going to push you outside of your comfort zone? Yes. The truth: fear is going to be present as you pursue your dreams. It’s inevitable. If you are chasing after something that’s big, fear will be along for the ride. The important thing is that you don’t let fear have control of the steering wheel. When fear arises, gently express that it can have space, but it does not have permission to take control. YOU are in control.
Journaling Prompt: What fears are you facing in your life right now? Are you letting them control your direction?
3| You let the act of comparison consume your time & thus never move forward.
Comparison does nothing for us. It doesn’t serve us. It doesn’t push us to move forward. Instead, it causes us to feel stuck. I experienced this a LOT before I decided to pursue my dreams (and sometimes I still do). Instead of wasting your time comparing your life to someone else’s highlight real, dig your hands in the dirt, soul search, and start taking serious action towards manifesting your own dreams and desires in your radiant heart. Action will trump wishing and waiting every.single.time.
Journaling Prompt: Do you have a tendency to give into comparison? Is it holding you back from chasing your wild dreams?
4| You are waiting for the “right time” to start (AKA the “perfect time”), and it has paralyzed you.
As a recovering perfectionist, I totally understand this one. It’s so easy to put things off because it’s not the “right time.” But let me tell you something that I learned a long time ago: if you are waiting around for the perfect time to start, you better bring tons of snacks and invite a friend, cause you’re going to be there for a long time. Instead of waiting for things to be perfect, just START. Starting is the hardest part, and once you take that first step, the ones following will be MUCH easier.
Journaling Prompt: What is ONE action you can take TODAY to start getting closer to your dreams. Write it down & then DO IT.
5| You don’t believe that you are worthy of living out your big dreams.
THIS MAY BE THE BIGGEST OF ALL. We have to believe, deep down at a cellular level, that we are worthy of living out our big dreams. If we don’t believe in that strong foundation, we will find ways to self-sabotage, and we will never manifest our dream reality. So, start digging deep and asking yourself the hard question. Start re-wiring your brain to REALLY believe that you are worthy of your dreams.
Journaling Prompt: Do you believe that you are worthy of living out your dreams? Write out a declaration of your worth & the validity of your dreams. Remind yourself of that every single day.
Are you ready to let go of the self-doubt and insecurity and step into confidence and courage? Download ‘The Self-Love Revolution’ cheatsheet full of strategies that will help you kick-start your self-love journey TODAY!
Ashton is the founder of The Authentic Woman, a platform that empowers women to live authentically as themselves. She firmly believes that women have the power to shift culture, eradicate unjust standards and ultimately change the world. When she's not working with her husband, she is most likely sipping on a cup of local coffee, swooning over pottery or adding to her succulent collection.
Connect with Ashton over on her Instagram!