What to do if You’re in an In-Between Season
Are you currently in the middle of your story?
Maybe you’re trying to lose weight, find peace with your inner-dialogue, start your very own business, get pregnant, stop constantly comparing your journey to another, get out of debt, overcome an addiction, ditch shame, cultivate radical body confidence, or fall in love. Is that you? I know how uncomfortable transition and incomplete stories can feel, especially in our digital era where completion is praised every single day.
Here’s the truth, sista: everyone is in the middle of at least one part of their very own story.
For me, I’ve reached a “peak” (or a sense of completion) in my body-positivity journey and in my relationship with my husband. I spent years wishing I could feel confident in my own skin, look in the mirror and finally see beauty, and be a voice of encouragement to other women facing body-image issues. After years of cultivating confidence, growing in self-love, and standing in my truth a little more each day, I can truly say that I am a confident woman: body, mind, and soul. Additionally, I spent years healing from a toxic relationship, making mistakes, and patiently waiting to meet the right guy for me. Many years later, I met the right guy, and now we’re married.
Although those accomplishments are amazing, and I boldly celebrate them, is my life perfect? Nope. I’m in process with SO many other parts of my story. Need examples? I’ve got you. I’m still growing in confidence when it comes to my skin, learning to love it even when it’s breaking out like a girl in the peak of puberty. I’m working on my people-pleasing tendencies, learning to listen to my heart, stand up for myself, and walk out my truth. I’m about 6 months into marriage, and although Josh and I are extraordinarily happy, we are still working on communication (cause hello, co-existing with another human being is a pretty big transition).
The point? You’re not alone.
We are constantly in some form of an in-between season because we are human beings with goals, dreams, and things we want to achieve. So, when we achieve one thing, we create another goal and another desire. It’s an endless cycle. Although this cycle is natural and beautiful, I know it can feel draining. It can feel lonely. It can feel disappointing. That is why we need to implement strategies that keep us grounded, safe, and inspired during this time. We have to learn how to appreciate the in-between, middle ground season. If we don’t, we will miss out on SO much in this life, and that’s not what I want for you, sista.
3 Things to do if You’re in an In-Between Season:
1. Talk about it.
Before you say anything, I KNOW this is the last thing you want to do, but I’m going to encourage you to do it anyways. One of the best ways we can shift our perspective around these in-between seasons and eradicate the feeling of loneliness that surfaces during this time is by talking about it. We have to start showing up and creating a space where these seasons are not only welcome but finally accepted as normal. We have to start the process of creating a culture where these messy, in-between moments are embraced. Because the truth is that without the process - that super messy, not so fun season WAY outside of your comfort zone - you wouldn’t be prepared to live out your big dreams. So, start talking about your season & embracing it.
2. Stop striving and let yourself grow.
What’s so beautiful about the in-between seasons is the way they increase our capacity, cause us to grow, and create space for us to bloom in the future. If you think about it, this season is essentially creating a strong foundation for you - it is a building phase, and that season is imperative. Without creating a strong foundation, whatever you decide to build in the future will be temporary and fragile. So, stop striving to be in anyone and everyone else’s season. Realize that they had to go through a process and a season in order to reach their current season. Start embracing the discomfort, growth, and expansion that surfaces during this time. Although it may feel uncomfortable, it is preparing you in a way that you never thought possible.
3. Create space for you to feel loved and at peace in this season.
Although the in-between season is imperative, beautiful, and much needed, it is a season of growth - and growth is entirely uncomfortable. I don’t know about you, but constantly being outside of my comfort zone is not my definition of safe and peaceful. It’s hard and sometimes painful. Sure, it’s rewarding, but that doesn’t discount any of the discomfort. In a season that feels uncertain and uncomfortable, we HAVE to create space for ourselves to experience peace and beauty. We have to find balance in this season. This comes down to figuring out things that you enjoy, need, and desire to experience in this time simply for YOU.
So, what do you need? What makes you feel calm, loved, and at peace? Pick a few things that feel good to you, and prioritize them. YOU MATTER enough to implement those things into your schedule. Need some ideas? Here’s a few things I love implementing:
Journaling: searching my heart, finding clarity, and getting grounded.
Prayer: finding inner-peace and calm.
Positive Affirmations: reminding myself of who I truly am.
Social Media Break: because comparison is not welcome during this season.
Embracing Silence: because gaining clarity requires shutting out the noise.
Know that your story does not have to be complete for it to be worthy of celebration, adoration, and appreciation.
We are all in the middle of at least one area of our story, and that is not only okay but entirely normal. Give yourself permission to be in process, to be imperfect, and to not have it all figured out. Your unraveling is extraordinary. Embrace it.
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Ashton is the founder of The Authentic Woman, a platform that empowers women to live authentically as themselves. She firmly believes that women have the power to shift culture, eradicate unjust standards and ultimately change the world. When she's not working with her husband, she is most likely sipping on a cup of local coffee, swooning over pottery or adding to her succulent collection.
Connect with Ashton over on her Instagram!